Watching what we've always wanted...

by calliek

***

You know...no matter how much longer it takes...no matter whether we hear something tomorrow or next week or even next month...it really will be all right. 

It will be more than all right. We know that. Yes, I heard things...I am still hearing things. Yes, I know how a lot of it works...but nothing I know or hear can comfort when it all comes down to the Wait. It's excruciating, it's exhausting...it feels lonely. But he is coming back and it will be new, exciting, invigorating. He will be at the helm of us once again and we will be his to navigate. Whenever, wherever, however. 

We all need him right now. So yes, life is feeling pretty raw and barren. I can sure verify that. He fills us in ways that we never knew could happen. We are yearning for that now. Seconds are creeping, minutes are maddening, hours pass, days tick away, weeks slide by. An eternity! When is "soon" NOW? 

When...it is. And it will be. That is one thing we know. 

As a creative being myself, I can speak from the other side. I spend what seems like a lifetime crafting my work...living it, nurturing it, polishing, perfecting...and then it's ready. But now the real waiting begins because so much else comes into play. Every single element adds weeks, months...and the overall timeline trips into not only next year, but the year after. It's maddening...and it seems like it will never come. Belief wavers...one day I am holding tight, the next I feel I am slipping over the edge. 

But at least with Clay, we know it is happening... 

One of the neatest things recently? Referring to the cuts that have been heard by some: "This is NOT American Idol. Hell, this isn't even Clay Aiken. This is a major breakout artist. I, for one, am going to enjoy the aftershocks." 

Yeah, we know that. But yes, this is going to be a whole new kind of fun...watching others fall under the spell. Watching many be blown away. Watching a new demographic build...watching Clay's fandom expand by multitudes...watching the respect grow and the praise catapult...watching what we've always wanted. 

The buzz about ramped up negotiating tells me that bigger deals and new developments may be impacting. I know a little bit about a couple of things that have been circulating...and if true, it pretty much makes the wait seem inconsequential. All in all, our agony is going to soon be our ecstacy. 

I can only hope that turns out to be the same with me and mine... 

As for us and Clay...in the bag. Today, tomorrow...July, August, September...yes. 2006, 2007, and beyond...yes. The media blitz, the tour, everything else...YES. 

Yes is such a nice word. 

What else really matters?